Dusk
by Emsta
Summary: PostTwilight Denile. The bullet didn't kill her, but it might have well have. Caitlin Todd died that day. Kate Gibbs barely lives on without her.


Dusk 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters, except the generic doctor.

**A/N:** So this went a different way than planned. Was going to have them not married, but Gibbs' saying so to the hospital.

**Inspiration:** _The Wind_ by dark rolling sea has this wonderful line: _It didn't kill her but it might as well have_ which is where this whole fic comes from, so I'd like to thank her, very muchly!

* * *

Permanent amnesia. That's what the doctor had said. If they were lucky. He'd resisted the urge to bite off the head of the young man. For once, Leroy Jethro Gibbs had realised that it was not this man's fault. 

He spent hours at her bedside, talking to her, reading to her, brushing her hair, sitting with her, just being there. The team, shattered as they were, were relieved that he had something to put his time and energies into. Something other than the terrorist-turned-good-guy-turned-double-crossing-back-stabbing-bastard. The hunt for Haswari had consumed him before. The team could not bear to loose another member.

He was asleep when she awoke, to find some stranger at her bedside. It was strange to her that she didn't recognise him, but still worked out what was going on around her. She could see that she was in a hospital bed, hooked up to more machines than she'd like to. She looked at the man at her side, looking as if he hadn't slept in months. She watched as his chest rose and fell in a rhythmic fashion.

She didn't recognise him, but felt safe, as if he would protect her, allow no one to harm her. She was contemplating this feeling when he awoke, and relief washed across his features.

"Katie." It was simple, and strangely held no remembrance for her. He sat there, amazed for a while before realising what he was seeing. "You're awake!" He promptly rang the panic button, not wanting to take his eyes off her, even for the few moments it would take for him to stick his head out the door and call to the staff at the ICU desk.

The doctor arrived, and noticed more promptly. "Good to see you awake Mrs Gibbs." The doctor made his way over to her, unsure how much she remembered.

"Hi."

"How do you feel?"

She did a mental assessment of herself… hands, arms, legs, ribs, feet… "I feel like my head's about to explode and my legs are stiff."

"Good, good."

Ducky chose that moment to walk in with Gibbs' caffeine hit. "Catlin, its good to see you again my dear."

Catlin/Katie waited for the recognition to hit. It did. She felt… well, nothing really, other than the initial feeling she should know him. She could not place his face, and when she thought about it, no other faces, names or places sprung to mind. She couldn't remember anything about her past or present.

'Wait, the doctor called me Mrs Gibbs.' She looked down to her left hand, and sure enough, there was a ring on the appropriate finger.

The others must have noticed the amazed expression on her face. "What's wrong?" Sprung from more than one mouth.

"Other than the fact I can't remember anyone here, why I'm here or anything about myself, I'm peachy."

There was a look of relief then one of shock on Gibbs' face. Ducky didn't look as surprised, nor did the doctor, though Ducky's face also contained concern.

"I'm not entirely surprised Mrs Gibbs. You took a bullet to the head." He looked at her face, intently, having an internal debate. "I'll be honest with you, the bullet hit the area of your brain that contains long term memories. We weren't sure that you'd ever regain consciousness… but your husband here," he said gesturing to the younger of the two men in the room, "insisted you were a fighter. Which you have proven numerous times since your arrival."

The tears began welling in her eyes. "What can be done? Is there any way I have of remembering that time?"

"I'm sorry Mrs Gibbs, but those memories are gone." The doctor felt awkward as she burst into tears. He was surprised when Ducky, rather than her husband, moved in to give her a hug and reassurance.

Then he noticed it. The look that was being sent his way. Husband dearest obviously didn't approve of what he'd just told his wife. Her husband was too busy sending him the death glare to worry about his wife. The doctor had seen that look once before, sent at the nurse who suggested that he leave, his wife wasn't going anywhere. He now understood why she requested a different appointment soon after.

"Umm… I have other patients to check on…" He said hastily, exiting at a run.

Ducky looked up from his position next to Kate. "Seriously Jethro, you've got to stop scaring the staff. Soon no-one here will want to deal with the two of you."

As Kate stored away that piece of information about her husband, she wiped the tears from her eyes.

* * *

Permanent amnesia. It was a definite prognosis now. Well, not entirely definite but as close as a doctor would get to a definite diagnosis on anything other than death. 

Kate, as she now called herself, had begun her filing of faces, circumstances, locations and voices, in a hope that something, anything would return.

She was to be discharged today, and return to a home she still could not remember, but had spent much time visiting in pictures. Abby, bless her heart, had spent an afternoon going around the house and taking photos and videos, and presented them to her.

The two women had fallen into their friendship as easily as they had the first time (though Kate did not remember this). Jethro was glad that she had someone else to talk to, someone to confide in. The strain on him had been growing, though he would not admit it, and he needed time to fit their home for her arrival.

Although she had not suffered any other damage, being confined to her bed would reduce her muscle tone and the memory she once held of the place they called home was gone.

When she walked into the house, she found it clinical, stale and militaristic. She knew little about herself still, but it felt unfamiliar. There didn't seem to be much of herself, of her own personality that she was beginning to learn, within it. Sure, clothing that she considered her own style and taste adorned the rack in the bedroom, drawings in her own hand adorned the walls, and photos of herself with various family members, and politicians sat on furniture.

"Where are the pictures of our wedding?" She now thought she knew enough about herself to believe that her wedding would have been large, traditional wedding, complete with a long flowing dress. A function like that is meant to be remembered, to be celebrated, in prints, photos and memories.

She missed the pained look that overtook his face. He'd taken care to move the remains of her stuff into his house, making it feel more lived in than it had been since wife number three had left. He had not tried, or believed it right, to manufacture photos of that day. Abby would have done it, easily enough, and not grumbled too much. While she remembered nothing, and probably would never do so, it felt wrong, and inhumane to manufacture memories for her.

"It wasn't all that long before the accident." She tensed. They had yet to talk about the incident that had cost her her memories.

"We hadn't been engaged for long, and not many people knew." He began pacing. "Then, you were put on protection detail for me, and decided that you couldn't loose me. We had a quick, quiet ceremony, with only Ducky, McGee, Abby and Tony, plus a celebrant of course." He paused. "We were going to have a larger one later on, but …" He left the sentence unfinished.

Kate sensed there was something was missing from his explanation, but still not knowing him entirely stopped her from pressing the matter.

* * *

Permanent amnesia. How certain the doctors were, how assured. Their life was nothing like that. 

They ran into one of his ex-wives once. It was not long after not long after she had thoroughly learnt her way around his… their house. Danielle had heard about the situation surrounding their wedding through whatever channels she used to monitor her ex-husband. She had read into it more than there was to read and snide comments were made. Jethro disappeared for a few hours.

That evening, when she was beginning to seriously worry, she opened the door at his knock to find him standing there, in suit and tie, holding flowers and a box.

"These are for you."

Although there was no way she could refuse him entry to his own home, the roses helped.

The box, she discovered as she handed him his coffee, contained a new dress. On inspection, it revealed itself as simple and elegant, selected with the help of Abby (who, despite outward appearances, knew plenty about Kate, her tastes, sizes and fashion).

They had dinner, simple enough, but out in public, where she revelled in the atmosphere. She didn't know why, but she felt loved here. When he told her this had been the one place they went out to dinner as a couple, the one time they'd risked their superiors finding out. Getting to know the small things about him, the risk he'd taken to be with her, and the amount of thought he put into everything, and she began to fall in love with him. He literally made her feel like she'd never felt before.

* * *

Permanent amnesia. That's what they said. They didn't explain how hard it would be- for him to have to remind her of everything, for her family to understand he wasn't taking advantage of her, for her to not remember. Anything. It was as if before the moment she woke in the hospital had not existed. It didn't for her. It may as well not have for him. 

They didn't explain how they'd cope. How she would have to relearn all the names of her friends, her life. How he would cope with the personality change, the newest Mrs Gibbs was different from the others, and herself. How the team would cope, with one less member, and only half of another around (on a good day).

The bullet didn't kill her, but it might have well have. Caitlin Todd died that day; Kate Gibbs barely lives on without her.

* * *

REVIEWS FOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME: (Sequel coming soon) 

**Navy Babe: GAH! How did you know I can't resist the temptation of a sequel if someone suggests it! Questions will be answered when I get it posted**

**Christieanne-Ann: I said characters, not letters...**

**Little Lunar Wolf: I'm glad you like her past. I was worried people might be very annoyed at the idea!**

**jtbwriter: grins at review: I loved your review! Thanks, loved the text message too!**


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